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Line Love becomes indifference, not saved from the gloom that comes of a husband's philan. She's been married for 15 years to Ken, a media executive.

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. The indifference you build is towards your own internal emotional reactions. management after a year as a result of his complete indifference to. lives with Southhport husband MEIER, a retired lawyer, in a comfortable flat in Southport. Verified by Psychology Today.

The New Resilience.


My posts about building the New Resiliency have focused mostly on relationships - looking at what's wrong with our model of adult love ; the psychology of affairs ; healing empathy deficit disorder ; and creating a true soul mate.

Here's one more in that same theme. It's about a paradox I've found that can restore passion and connection in a declining relationship. First, I'll describe some versions of the problem - and you're likely to identify with some of them. For example, Nora, 43, who has a successful career as a free-lance magazine writer and has two children. She's indiffeernt married for 15 years to Ken, a media executive.

They're typical of many couples today - committed to their relationship and family as much as to their careers. They want to stay that way. Yet, something troubles. It's what's happened along the way during their marriage.

There's nothing "wrong" with it, exactly. But the excitement and energy, the feelings of connection and passion that were once there have gradually faded over the years. Another person, David, indiifferent celebrated the eleventh anniversary of his second marriage.

He describes a similar shift a bit more sardonically, saying that his relationship has settled into a state of "depressing HHow. If these laments sound familiar to you, it's likely because most men and women find that their long-term marriages I'm defining "marriage" to describe all committed relationships, straight or gay tend to head south over time.


Most people think it's inevitable, but there's a unique way to liberate yourself from it. It's learning to "leave" your relationship in order to transform it. You do that through becoming "indifferent. In order to explain what I mean, let's look first at what typically happens in the Functional Relationship. The relationship continues to "work" fairly well, but mostly in a transactional way, around the logistics of daily life: "I thought you were taking the car in for repair.

‚Ě∂Couples find it Creative Indifference revitalizing because it disrupts the entrenched pattern. Well said! I hope this helps clarify - thanks for indlfferent comments.

Desire is something very primal. Thanks for your comments and critique! This enabled him to see her anxietywithout his own reactivity.

You can revitalize your relationship by learning to become "indifferent"

Which is to say, most divorcing couples. Thanks to Baba Farin for the spell he cast to help me get my husband back That is, envision qualities in your relationship that you'd like to see grow - such as opennesswarmth, or eroticism; closeness and respect, rather than distance or annoyance.

I call it the art of Creative Indifference. Submitted by Lisa on November 23, - pm. In a world where so much blame is being placed, these would be much welcomed improvements, at least by me.|

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